Date: July 2, 2025 2:03PM
Special executive order. Backup plan is pardon themselves.
Trump Signs Into Law: Anyone With Exactly 34 Felonies and With Initials D and T Are Exempt From Being Deported
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Date: June 26, 2025 12:16PM
Strong man strongly considers changing to iPad instead.
Strong-man needs to first explain what a phone book is before performance
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Date: June 15, 2025 12:43AM
"Sorry guys, I found a few million dollars in the couch cushion and thought it be funny"
BREAKING: Every NoKings protester was a hired actor, man admits hiring all of them.
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Date: June 15, 2025 12:37AM
The suspect has commented: "It's ok, he will pardon me. I'm not in trouble."
"It's ok, he will pardon me"
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Date: June 15, 2025 12:35AM
The largest crowd, EVER.
Final count: 20 Billion in Attendance of the D.C. Bday Parade
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Date: June 6, 2025 12:50AM
Did you know that???
BREAKING: Bears Shit in the Woods!
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Date: May 25, 2025 1:22PM
Stolen Valor is when someone who mislead the public on their military service often for public praise or financial benefit.
"Stolen Valor crimes are going to spike tomorrow" warns US Civil War vet
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Date: May 24, 2025 1:29PM
Research funded by Harvard will offer How to Recognize a dictatorship takeover as a free online course.
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have determined that nothing is original
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Date: May 24, 2025 1:14PM
Don't know why nobody ever thought of it before.
Health care crisis solved! trump declares getting sick illegal.
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Date: Nov 27, 2024 1:57PM
Like signing up but miss being banned? This platform is for YOU!
New social media platform OnlyBans where you sign up and get immediately banned.
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Date: Nov 27, 2024 2:09PM
Mr. Lecter has yet to be reached for comment.
Hannibal Lecter is the latest trump pick for the "Sheep" cabinet.
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Date: Nov 27, 2024 2:32PM
It's a logical response to people spilling their guts out in the car, especially when they're drunk.
Chatting in Uber or Lyft now can be a therapy session.
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Date: Nov 27, 2024 2:57PM
Who are you going to complain to? HR?
Due to recent poltical outcomes, head of HR will no longer be subjected to sexual harassment rules.
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Date: Nov 27, 2024 6:08PM
It's about time.
Low Quality Facts nominated for Pulitzer, Peabody, and 5.5 Michelin Stars
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Date: Nov 28, 2024 8:36AM
"Gobble gobble I'm not staying for this" - Turkey
Turkey declines the pardon from Biden.
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Date: Nov 28, 2024 8:55AM
No change in the holiday, just being more accurate.
Thanksgiving rebranded as Thankstaking in 2025
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Date: Nov 28, 2024 10:08AM
Looks legit.
Man charged with cyber sex crime after sex inside a Cybertruck.
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Date: Nov 28, 2024 10:09PM
Bet Hitler must be turning in his grave.
Germany has invaded USA to fight AGAINST Nazis.
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Date: Nov 29, 2024 08:16AM
No longer planet but still an award.
Low Quality Facts won the Pluto Award.
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Date: Nov 30, 2024 09:13AM
Trucker last words were "at least I owned them"
Anti-woke trucker fell asleep at the wheel, killing self and several others, also causing $12 million in damages.
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Date: Dec 1, 2024 01:25PM
Feed those hippos! They're hungry, very hungry.
34% of doctors admit they've sworn to the hippopotamus oath
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Date: Dec 3, 2024 09:31AM
Elon isn't happy and be looking to make a move to a different universe.
Elon's pay cut has demoted him back down to God title.
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Date: Dec 4, 2024 08:54AM
The color of post nuclear war sky is what's beautiful.
Elon rebrands X to Redsky to compete with Bluesky to please a conservative audience.
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Date: Dec 5, 2024 09:22PM
The board was absolved of all wrong doing because of proof that the CEO asked for it.
CEO crushed to death by golden parachute
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Date: Dec 8, 2024 08:24PM
"I got nothing against Christmas, but they really enjoy being persecuted and I didn't want to take that happiness away from them." says Employer
Boss forbids saying "Merry Christmas" to make Christians happy feeling persecuted.
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Date: Dec 8, 2024 08:44PM
Jon Miller also declares to be a master in biology mutations.
Jon Miller self identify as "Nothing more than a sperm dispenser"
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Date: Dec 12, 2024 01:41AM
Congratulations to the happy couple.
BREAKING NEWS: Climate Change is marrying World War III and they are both pregnant.
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Date: Dec 15, 2024 07:54AM
The future of HTML is looking bright.
BREAKING NEWS: HTML Inc. has acquired key hire Elly Veritas to further improve HTML.
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Date: Dec 15, 2024 07:58AM
Dave cannot be reached for comment.
Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home
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Date: Jan 22, 2025 5:05PM
Elon commented "If it's the right turn, then what could go wrong?"
Tesla recall due to steering wheel locking after right turn.
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Date: Jan 25, 2025 12:07PM
It's already the largest health financial support path. This is a natural next step.
As Cancer research now defunded, GoFundMe is starting a Cancer specific site.
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Date: Feb 7, 2025 7:58AM
Christians say too many anti-Christian materials in the book.
Christians ban the Bible in compliance with anti-Christian measures.
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Date: Feb 12, 2025 9:09AM
Waiting on Google to update the maps.
BREAKING NEWS: Mexico has changed USA's name to "New Canada"
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